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I think that the key is whether you're using system 1 or system 2 thinking in social situation. It's a concept popularized by Thinking, Fast and Slow. System 1 is automatic, effortless, quick - for example face recognition. System 2 is deliberate, tiring, slow - think of solving an equation. It's kind of similar to unconscious vs conscious.

When people are naturally good in social situations, they're primarily using system 1 for decision making such as "what should my facial expression be". It's kind of a state of flow, in which system 2 mostly just observes what system 1 is doing, without micromanaging every face muscle, intonation, sentence, etc.

This may also be a reason why introverts find social interaction tiring.

(This is just my understanding.)



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