Some other comments have kind of covered this, but the biggest mistake I see is focusing on your product/company/self instead of the audience.
The audience cares much more about themselves than you. So talk about the audience first, then introduce yourself by connecting to their interests. Like other comments mentioned, the audience's problems/pains is a good place to start. (Then introduce yourself by showing how you provide benefit by solving that pain.)
Also prefer a casual, friendly tone (talking in 2nd person) over a formal, official tone (talking in 3rd person.) People think a formal, official tone makes them look more prestigious, but people tend to trust the casual friendly tone more. The best, strongest recommendations are from your closest friends, so use the same tone you would use talking to one of them.
As for the headline, it is probably the most important component because none of the other content matters if the headline doesn't grab their attention. The best headlines get the audience to ask themselves a burning question in their head.
The main call-to-action should be to exchange something of value for contact information. Most people will need more information before they are converted. You can't continue the conversation without contact information. Those who are really interested will find a way to sign up/buy even if the CTA for that isn't directly in front of them.
This type of writing is called direct response marketing. It has been used successfully long before the internet was a thing: mail, newspapers, radio, tv, etc... The landing page is just another medium/communication channel.
The audience cares much more about themselves than you. So talk about the audience first, then introduce yourself by connecting to their interests. Like other comments mentioned, the audience's problems/pains is a good place to start. (Then introduce yourself by showing how you provide benefit by solving that pain.)
Also prefer a casual, friendly tone (talking in 2nd person) over a formal, official tone (talking in 3rd person.) People think a formal, official tone makes them look more prestigious, but people tend to trust the casual friendly tone more. The best, strongest recommendations are from your closest friends, so use the same tone you would use talking to one of them.
As for the headline, it is probably the most important component because none of the other content matters if the headline doesn't grab their attention. The best headlines get the audience to ask themselves a burning question in their head.
The main call-to-action should be to exchange something of value for contact information. Most people will need more information before they are converted. You can't continue the conversation without contact information. Those who are really interested will find a way to sign up/buy even if the CTA for that isn't directly in front of them.
This type of writing is called direct response marketing. It has been used successfully long before the internet was a thing: mail, newspapers, radio, tv, etc... The landing page is just another medium/communication channel.