I think there's a huge difference between the freedom you should give an 8 year old and the freedom you should give a 16 year old. This applies to all things, including the digital world. Letting kids go free without oversight can be as bad as controlling them through these apps.
Now, ideally, I think children up to certain ages simply shouldn't have access to social media and the internet. In practice, they will have smartphones and laptops these days. I don't like it, but I don't think getting kids bullied or held back socially because they can't participate in things with their peers is a good idea either.
I still think there are limits to what parental controls should be allowed to do (i.e. no silently forwarding messages) and I think late middle school/early high school ages these apps will do a lot of damage if used wrong, especially to the amount trust a kid will have in you if you refuse their desire for privacy. However, for young kids, either parental controls or not having access to these devices are simply essential. There's a lot of shit out there that kids shouldn't have access to, from abusive porn to gambling games (which includes "lootboxes" in my opinion).
I think transparency is key here. Show kids what kind of stuff you can and can't control, set up rules that you adhere to when and how you use the tech. Don't use it as a mysterious force of God that says you can't open this app, don't do this stuff behind their backs. Don't use controls you use for their safety as a quick and easy punishment. Also make sure to reduce the influence you hold over the years and disable parental controls at some point.
You can apply rules like "no more than x hours of games per day/week" without turning phones into surveillance devices. As a teenager, I would've definitely preferred a time limit on my phone if it meant not having to hand over my phone after a certain amount of phone time, though I would've never accepted the kind of parental controls that also uploads your browsing history. And in hindsight, I do agree with my parents' decision not to let me buy GTA San Andreas back in primary school, even though it sucked at the time.
I've heard way too many stories of people abusing parental controls because they don't trust their kids, or because their kids don't trust them. I think that's incredibly sad more than anything, and a sign of something worse going on. The more invasive abilities of this spying software should be considered worse than reading a kid's diary: they're a violation of trust that can irreparably damage a developing mind, and they're only acceptable in the most extreme cases (i.e. when a child goes missing). Things like GPS trackers can still be useful (i.e. when going out to a theme park so you don't lose each other) so I don't think they're inherently bad, but some people seem make terrible choices when it comes to using this kind of tech. Late teenagers (16+) to even adults being completely restricted online because "what if they look at porn" or even "what if they deviate from the Lord's ways" are the worst I've heard, often from households that are (in my opinion) incredibly repressive, stemming from religious reasons more than anything.
The only slight upside of this abuse of technology is that often the kids restricted most by bad parenting will pick up a knack for bypassing these systems and get interested in things like computer science, hacking, and other types of systems analysis.
In the end, I think a lot of this stuff isn't as black and white as "don't use it" or "use it as you please". Through a child's development, this tech changes from an essential safety net to a dangerous tool that can be incredibly harmful, and it's hard to say when exactly that transformation begins and ends.
Now, ideally, I think children up to certain ages simply shouldn't have access to social media and the internet. In practice, they will have smartphones and laptops these days. I don't like it, but I don't think getting kids bullied or held back socially because they can't participate in things with their peers is a good idea either.
I still think there are limits to what parental controls should be allowed to do (i.e. no silently forwarding messages) and I think late middle school/early high school ages these apps will do a lot of damage if used wrong, especially to the amount trust a kid will have in you if you refuse their desire for privacy. However, for young kids, either parental controls or not having access to these devices are simply essential. There's a lot of shit out there that kids shouldn't have access to, from abusive porn to gambling games (which includes "lootboxes" in my opinion).
I think transparency is key here. Show kids what kind of stuff you can and can't control, set up rules that you adhere to when and how you use the tech. Don't use it as a mysterious force of God that says you can't open this app, don't do this stuff behind their backs. Don't use controls you use for their safety as a quick and easy punishment. Also make sure to reduce the influence you hold over the years and disable parental controls at some point.
You can apply rules like "no more than x hours of games per day/week" without turning phones into surveillance devices. As a teenager, I would've definitely preferred a time limit on my phone if it meant not having to hand over my phone after a certain amount of phone time, though I would've never accepted the kind of parental controls that also uploads your browsing history. And in hindsight, I do agree with my parents' decision not to let me buy GTA San Andreas back in primary school, even though it sucked at the time.
I've heard way too many stories of people abusing parental controls because they don't trust their kids, or because their kids don't trust them. I think that's incredibly sad more than anything, and a sign of something worse going on. The more invasive abilities of this spying software should be considered worse than reading a kid's diary: they're a violation of trust that can irreparably damage a developing mind, and they're only acceptable in the most extreme cases (i.e. when a child goes missing). Things like GPS trackers can still be useful (i.e. when going out to a theme park so you don't lose each other) so I don't think they're inherently bad, but some people seem make terrible choices when it comes to using this kind of tech. Late teenagers (16+) to even adults being completely restricted online because "what if they look at porn" or even "what if they deviate from the Lord's ways" are the worst I've heard, often from households that are (in my opinion) incredibly repressive, stemming from religious reasons more than anything.
The only slight upside of this abuse of technology is that often the kids restricted most by bad parenting will pick up a knack for bypassing these systems and get interested in things like computer science, hacking, and other types of systems analysis.
In the end, I think a lot of this stuff isn't as black and white as "don't use it" or "use it as you please". Through a child's development, this tech changes from an essential safety net to a dangerous tool that can be incredibly harmful, and it's hard to say when exactly that transformation begins and ends.